Outcomes

I really like that they did confessionals in the attic of their house in Amsterdam. It’s a nice background.

Analeigh is so cute. What can i say? She is like frosting and cotton candy and lollipops and pixie stix, well. . . maybe not pixie stix, but she might rot your teeth. I really like her. She seems a genuinely good person, or at least she comes across that way. . . . and the girl just so happens to be a natural actor too. What more could you want? But wait! Just like Sham-Wow: there IS more: she has the most graceful turn at the end of the runway. It’s hot! The girl’s amazing in my not so humble opinion. I have to agree with Paulina in one regard, though: she’s really not naturally very photogenic in still pictures, and that hurts her chances of having a “real” modeling career.

I’m pretty damn sure that Marjorie was a little toasty at panel when she was eliminated. I bet she’s glad she was too. She said, “I have to LOOK relaxed at panel.” I SO expected the panel to call her out: “Marjorie! Are you drunk?” Ty-Ty could inquire with scolding authority. Mr. Jay did for a second, but then backed away after Marjorie didn’t really answer. The sad part is that if you listen real carefully, you can almost hear the gears of Marjorie’s brain. “Wow!. . . wine makes me WAY less nervous, in fact, i feel normal for the first time in my life.” <click> -> alcoholism. I’m not trying to insinuate that Marjorie’s never had wine before, of course. Poor Marjorie, you just can’t win. “Oh. . . you’re too nervous and fidgity; you won’t be able to book any jobs.” or “. . . now that you’re calm, you’re boring and we don’t like you anymore.” What a pity. Of course she could never win anyway, and this was her time to go. I hate to say it, but i’m a little sad to see her go.

Samantha’s going to be the first one eliminated tomorrow night which will be a welcome relief because her voice is like nails on a chalkboard for me. I find her personality frightening. Just imagine what that girl’d act like drunk! That being said; this picture is HOT!

McKey talks out of the side of her mouth, and it bugs the shit out of me. I’m not even putting in a picture to show you; It freaks me out that much. (thanks a lot for pointing that out Chad) She’s already proven she can’t do commercials. Clearly, her potential lies in the editorial. It seems to me that winning would quite likely HURT her career prospects.

That leaves us with Analeigh as the winner, in this: the most predictable cycle of Top Model. Of course that probably means it’s not gonna be that way. Have you noticed that the Covergirl commercials have devolved from something approaching a real commercial to a 30 second victory lap. None of Whitney’s commercials had her speaking to the camera. Almost all were voiced-over (with her voice), but it’s pretty pathetic, whatever the reason. The point i’m making is that there isn’t necessarily a particular trait that Ty-Ty’s looking for (unless you’re a tranny). Mckey could easily be a high-fashion model, and Analeigh could do REAL Covergirl commercials.

I don’t try to predict elimination order simply because it’s impossible. The criteria to win are contradictory: they want a model who’s editorial, high-fashion, and not-at-all commercial to do television commercials. Just to add irony to contradiction, most of the girls’ “teaches” involved catalog or commercial modeling.

Every cycle I wonder how many and which of the girls keep in touch with each other after the competition. Marjorie, you’re going to be lonely for a while when Analeigh flies to such international fashion capitals as Baltimore, MD.

This whole exercise begs the obvious and unavoidable question: How many cycles will there be?

* Note to Chad and Kehr: the reason this has gotten so much less humorous is because i don’t sit around and watch this show with you anymore. You’re hillarious observations made writing this so much easier. I put a lot of thought into these past few, and it still falls short.